Thank You Nelson Cruz!

Big fella, big sella

I know baseball is somewhat on the decline in America thanks to it's more violent competitor, football, but what the Rangers and, more specifically, Nelson Cruz have been doing this post-season cannot go unnoticed. As an Astros fan, when the playoffs come around, it's just a sad sad time. But my allegiance to the state of Texas has made me watch my share of Rangers post-season games. The more games that I watch, the more I fell in love with one player: Nelson Cruz. So, as an extension of all slightly-moderately overweight men everywhere, I would like to personally thank Nelson Cruz for making our archetype look good.

Before I thank you, I want you to understand one thing: this isn't a back-handed complement. It's a sincere appreciation for what you do. Nelson Cruz makes us Paul Blart-esque guys look good. Not only did he hit the only walk-off grand slam in MLB playoff history, but he's been hitting lights out against a great Detroit Tigers team. Nelson, thank you for proving that those extra few hot dogs won't bog us down. Thank you for showing that the few stretch marks we have don't outweigh (pun intended) how agile we can be. And most of all, thank you for making being chubby A-Okay.

Nelson Cruz, I salute you!